Usagi & the Internet Part 02
by MarsFireSoul2500
Summary: The second part of the story. Part 3 will be up as soon as I find it. I know I typed it up, so it's gotta be around here somewhere.


Usagi: Hello?  
She said, answering the phone. It was 11:30 am the next day. Usagi had been up all night visiting various adult web sites and printing out only the most stimulating pictures.  
Usagi: Study Buddies! But it's Saturday!  
Her facial expression twisted as she stayed on the phone.  
Rei: ...Okay?  
Usagi scoffed.  
Rei: OKAY!  
Usagi: Yeah! Okay! Whatever!  
She slammed down the phone, sighing.  
Usagi: Damn that Rei-chan! I'd rather look for more porn!  
Erotic pictures of naked men, woman, children, and their dogs covered on the floor of the room. And still more were being spit out of the printer. Usagi got up from the chair she had been sitting in all night, dusted the cobwebs from her lap, and went downstairs.

Seconds later, she came running back upstairs and hugged the pictures.  
Usagi: I can't live half a minute without my porn!  
Once again, the phone started to ring. She went over and picked it up.  
Usagi: What!  
She was surprised at who was on the line.  
Usagi: Oh, hey 'Rukes! Whut up, dawg!  
Haruka: You should use a folder to keep your pictures in.  
Michiru was chattering in the background.  
Haruka: Shut up, Michiru!  
Michiru: PORN! IYAAAAAA!  
There was another thud. Haruka hung up.  
Usagi: Yeesh. Either Haruka beats Michiru-san, or Michiru-san is allergic to that word.  
John: What word?  
Usagi: The word 'porn'.  
The phone rang yet again. Usagi picked it up.  
Michiru: IYAAAAAA!  
Usagi slammed the phone down.  
Usagi: I wonder who that was? The poor girl must've had the wrong number.

S title screen and title music  
Sailor Moon S  
Usagi & the Internet  
(Part 02)

Usagi took a short break from the computer and went out for some fresh air. She walked down the street with a folder in her arms, holding it closely against her chest. As she was on her way to Rei's, she passed Hotaru's house. Hotaru stood out in her front yard, screaming at Kaorinite.  
Hotaru: You are my bitch! I want pandas!  
Hotaru yelled, then jumped up and slapped Kaorinite. The red-haired woman began crying and ran into the house. Usagi saw what was going on and didn't want to be any part of it, so she started walking faster, trying to get away before Hotaru noticed her. Hotaru did see Usagi and ran after, yanking on Usagi's long hair when she caught up.  
Hotaru: Look at me! I am a monkey! Feed me polar bears!  
She shouted, climbing the long blonde hair.  
Usagi: YAAAAAAAA!  
Suddenly, the ponytail Hotaru was pulling on ripped right off of Usagi's head.  
Usagi: GASP!  
Hotaru held the hair limply in her hand.  
Hotaru: Uh oops...  
Usagi began crying and covered her bald spot.  
Hotaru: It's okay, I can fix it. Come inside, come inside.  
She grabbed Usagi's arm and pulled her into the house.

When they got up to Hotaru's room, she pushed Usagi down onto the floor. Hotaru went out of the room for a second, then returned with a bottle of glue. Usagi still held the folder in her arm. Hotaru poured the glue onto Usagi's scalp, then slapped the chunk of hair back on.  
Hotaru: Good as new!  
She closed the glue and patted Usagi's freshly fixed hair problem. She kicked Usagi in the knee, then yelled,  
Hotaru: Now, get out of my house, bitch!  
Usagi: You shouldn't be saying that!  
Kaorinite passed by Hotaru's room, still crying, walking down the hall on her way to her own room. Hotaru smiled wickedly.  
Hotaru: I have to go torture Kaorinite. So, leave!  
Usagi rose to her feet and ran out of the house as fast as she could. As she got up, a paper slipped out of the folder and laid on Hotaru's bedroom floor. Hotaru chased her down the stairs, taunting her evilly.  
Hotaru: Don't ever come back or I'll eat those meatballs of yours!  
Usagi: WAaaah!

As she ran further down the street, she bumped into Haruka and Michiru. The folder flew from her hands and the contents spilled out, scattering everywhere.  
Haruka: Whatcha got there?  
Michiru bent down and picked one of the papers up.  
Michiru: Oh my God, Haruka! It's! It's!  
Haruka took a look and said,  
Haruka: It's porn.  
Michiru: AAAAAHH!  
She screamed, then fainted. Usagi, extremely embarrassed, hurriedly began gathering all of her belongings and stuffing them back into the folder.  
Haruka: Well, I think you killed my girlfriend... And I'm pretty damn horny now, after seeing all that porn.  
Usagi looked up at her, blushing.  
Haruka: Let's have sex, Usagi-chan.  
Usagi: No! Go do it with Michiru-san!  
Then she ran away.

When she finally got to Rei's, it was a half hour later than she was expected.  
Rei: Where have you been, moron!  
Usagi: WAAAH! Don't be so mean! Lots of things happened!  
Makoto: What's your excuse _this_ time?  
Usagi: It's not an excuse!  
Minako: Probably lost track of time while pigging out on sweets and hunking for guys.  
Usagi: You're one to talk, Minako-chan...  
Minako: Hehehe... Sorry, Usagi-chan.  
Usagi: Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot...  
Ami: What's that?  
She asked, pointing to the folder.  
Usagi: It's a folder, dummy! I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!  
Makoto: Don't let her fool you. She's really a dumbass.  
Rei: Dumber than Usagi-chan.  
Ami rolled her eyes and scoffed.  
Ami: No! I mean, what's inside it?  
Makoto: Yeah, why _do_ you have it with you?  
Minako: What is it, Usagi-chan?  
Rei: Tell us!  
Usagi: YAAAAAAA!  
She shrieked, feeling horribly under pressure.  
Usagi: It's nothing, really.  
Rei: Let me see!  
She demanded, pulling at it.  
Usagi: NO!  
Usagi panicked. Rei was slapped backwards. Makoto grabbed Usagi and held her arms behind her back. Rei returned the hit, rendering Usagi unconscious, then opened the folder.

Mamoru: Usako.  
Usagi: Huh? Mamo-chan?  
Mamoru: Usako, it's okay if you like porn.  
Usagi: It is?  
Mamoru: Yeah. I like porn, too.  
Haruka: So do I.  
Pamela Anderson: Don't forget me. I made most of that stuff.  
Usagi, Haruka, and Mamoru gasped.  
Haruka: Holy crap it's Pam Anderson!  
Pamela Anderson: Yes, it's me. Aren't I sexy?  
Haruka and Usagi nodded.  
Pamela Anderson: Like, the sexiest thing you've ever seen in your whole life?  
Haruka and Usagi nodded again.  
Carmen Electra: Wait a minute, Bitch, I'm the sexiest thing in the world.  
Cindy Crawford: Dream on. Did Coca Cola ever ask any of you to sponsor them? I think not.  
Pamela Anderson & Carmen Electra: So?  
Cindy Crawford: I rest my case.  
The three playmates began wrestling on the ground.  
Mamoru: Anyway, the point is, Usako, don't feel bad about yourself just because someone else doesn't like what you like.  
Usagi: Do you think you could hold that thought for just a sec, Mamo-chan? Carmen Electra just got her bra ripped off.  
Mamoru sighed.  
Mamoru: I hate being gay...  
Pamela Anderson: ARGH!  
Cindy Crawford: AAHHH!  
Carmen Electra: RAWR!  
Haruka and Usagi looked on, drooling.  
Cindy Crawford: Usagi! You're about to wake up out of this dream sequence!  
She yelled to Usagi, as she continued wrestling with the other two playmates.  
Pamela Anderson: We're not quite sure how your friends are going to react to what you had in that folder, but-  
Carmen Electra: Whatever reaction it may be, hold your head high and never surrender to other's beliefs!  
Haruka: Hayl yeah!  
Haruka slowly disappeared. Usagi looked to Mamoru one last time.  
Mamoru: Good luck, Usako.  
He faded away.  
Carmen Electra: Good luck, girl!  
Pamela Anderson: We'll be rooting for you!  
Cindy Crawford: Continue to support us by buying our magazines!  
Then they, too, faded away as quickly as Mamoru and Haruka had.

When Usagi woke up, she found herself lying in the middle of sheer darkness.  
Usagi: Where... Am I?


End file.
